"When something is for you, it will bring clarity and alignment to your life, not chaos and confusion" - Alex Elle
Do you agree?
I think my key learning from yoga teacher training? Was absolutely about alignment. Or rather, where I've been mis-aligned. Physical alignment, perhaps goes without saying, albeit what that looks like and feels like in my body could look vastly different to you and yours. And that's okay! What about other areas of life; work, hobbies, friends, partners?
Is it as simple as saying does it feel difficult or easy? I'm not sure it is. Sometimes we have to do hard things, go outside of our comfort zone to challenge ourselves and grow. Things aren't always straightforward but I do think that if you listen to yourself? You know what's right for you and what disturbs your inner peace.
Secondly, there's my age old battle with balance. As a recovering workaholic in both a job and development sense, the year definitely brought all the different areas of my life into view. I didn't have time for the 300hr course ( I was already working full time and training as a coach quite apart from trying to hold down a personal life). Guess what. It didn't all fit and it's definitely made me look at what I value, what time I have and how I spend it. And yes, different elements have fallen away.
I am going to trust though, that what's meant for me won't miss me. We were told "trust the process" throughout the year and I know we all had to dig deep to do that at different points. And you know what? I can trust. I haven't always; things, people....particularly people. Always expecting to be let down. I've not fully mastered it, I'm still a work in progress but then? Aren't we all!
And then fourthly, there's confronting fear. And boy did I have opportunities to do that. Standing in front of a room of people expectantly waiting to see the way you use your body to demonstrate a posture. I was the student in the class that was hiding at the back rather than being confidently at the front. Could I do it? Would I get it right? Would people enjoy it? I haven't always - opening myself up to feedback was great and so helpful for my progression! I'm so grateful for the constructive and supportive words of all of my fellow trainees! Interestingly, how I approached the challenges presented was good for me to observe and think about in a way I hadn't before! That initial freak out and complete lack of confidence in myself to then calm down, work it through and achieve it? Wow. How much stress have I been creating for myself whenever I've questioned myself and lost my self belief? Answer? A LOT!
The fifth and final learning relates to letting go. I'm sure some people would say they think I'm pretty good at it. You know what? I'm not. There's a lot I haven't processed from the past (near and distant). I haven't felt the feelings associated with painful life stuff both personal and professional and allowed it to go and having considered the writing of Gabor Mate, Bessel van der Kolk and Louise Hay? What dis-ease have I caused myself...the headaches, the backache and probably various other things besides. Since graduating in May, I've had a hip issue which has persisted to the point of struggling to stand and walk. Where is it argued that emotions is stored in the body? Yes, you've guessed it - the hips!
So whilst this started as a full body yes response to hearing the phrase "...feel solid on the inside and soft on the outside" ? I am absolutely still assimilating and responding to the learnings. Practice makes perfect! I didn't intend teaching but I love my Wednesday night class and my yogis and can't wait to combine my yoga and coaching skills in workshops to support development in the future!
One thing I do know? I have absolutely no regrets!